Thursday, October 29, 2009

DETH COMES RIPPING

Halloween day party excitement for you! The Deth Killers of Bushwick are going to be providing you with a dirt bike track and a bonfire and food and porta potties and fake violence and oh yeah, music.

THE MUSIC
Ninjasonik, who you may remember from their song about getting somebody pregnant and/our mixtape, and Anamanaguchi, the kings of 8-bit rock that's like yeah, are playing in the live. This is really cool! In additon, Theo G (WESTERN BEEF!), GRAM0PHoNE of Phone Tag, and probably SIMIAN GIBBONS are all going to be blasting out raucous, seasonally appropriate jams. I should also mention it's all happening at the magical pizza kingdom known as Roberta's. That place is so tasty.

RSVP HERE


While you're on the site, be sure to check out the new Des Kiraz shirts. I hear there will even be a few limited edition shirts available for purchase at the event. They're quite touching.

SEE YOU THERE

Thursday, October 22, 2009

HIREMEHIREMEHIREME

I started my internship with barstalk.com this week. That's a link to a splash page. The full site launches on the 1st, I do believe. A cool concept. It's been fun running around to bars and restaurants and then getting to write about it.

On the music front, my pal Gryphon, of Phone Tag and a thousand other things, and I are working on a mix tape. I would tease you with a track list, but you have to wait until next week. Ok ok, I'll just say it features Phoenix, MVSCLZ, Vanity 6, Nightshade, Iron Maiden, Beyonce, Yuksek, more dirty rap than you can shake a PARENTAL ADVISORY label at, and oh so much more. It's good, trust me.

Also! Phone Tag is playing at Kenny's Castaways as part of CMJ this Friday. Needless to say, you should attend. FB event page behind the link.

Carry on, internet soldiers.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

RIP CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO

RIP CAPTAIN LOU ALBANO. WHEN I THINK OF MARIO, I THINK OF YOU.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

DARE I SAY IT

















From the man machine that helped spawn all things Awthum, rocked your pimply teenage face off with ASSACRE, got fit/black magical with MVSCLZ, burned beauty into your eyes with AQUABOTIC, brought the cosmos to the MEN R G dancefloor, and a does a thousand other things I can't I can't chase down links for from an iPhone, comes a real live website dedicated to his media work

ENTER

OK! FRESH

visit early and often

photo courtesy of Dan Patrick

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

THE SORE FEET DIET

OR HOW TO LOSE ALL YOUR BODY'S INSULATION IMMEDIATELY BEFORE WINTER, THE BROOKLYN WAY
The Brooklyn Sore Feet Quick Weight Loss Guide for Autumn 2009 is not intended as serious medical advice. Accordingly, it should not be used in any attempt to diagnose, treat, or prevent a medical condition. That being said, it works.

1st meal (brunch)
Eat at as soon as you can after waking. Ideally this will be sometime between 11 AM and 3 PM. Wander around for 30 minutes calling people to see if they want to "do lunch." Never eat a substantial meal alone, ever. It does not particularly matter what you eat at this point in the day. Most varieties of noodles, sandwiches, and tacos are acceptable. The main point of this meal is to give you the energy to not immediately return to your bed, floor, or pile of bedding on the floor for a nap. Drinking alcohol at this meal is acceptable so long as you keep the previous guideline in mind. Contrary to popular belief, horchata, coffee, kombucha, water, various juices, and tea are all suitable alternatives to many of the more traditional breakfast beverages, such as the mimosa.

Interlude 1
This is an excellent time to do whatever it is you need to do. Wherever you are going, walk there. Walk ceaselessly. If your destination is too far to reach on foot in a reasonable amount of time, take the train. As a general rule, it's important to avoid any form of transportation that does not require you to scale or descend an excessive number of stairs at some point.

Make sure and get lost a few times per day, as this can greatly increase the number of miles you walk in a day. Your iPhone or any other electronic device with a rudimentary form of GPS can aid you to that end. Purposefully limiting your understanding of the subway system can also help.

NOTE: A good way to tell if you're sticking to the program is literally right beneath your feet. Are your socks and shoes in good repair? If you answered "yes," you may not be following the guidelines as well as you should. And your feet themselves, do they hurt? Even when soaked in warm water for 30 minutes? If you answered "no" to either, you may need to be paying more attention.


2nd meal (follow your nose)
This meal should be something you can eat while walking. Try to find something that can fit in one hand. Candy bars, churros, and nuts coated in some mysterious substance are all suitable options. Many other options are readily available from your favorite bodega. Coconut water or beer are common substitutes.

Interlude 2
See interlude 1. Continue to walk around. Finish up whatever you need to in preparation for the evening.


3rd meal (playing for keeps)
This meal ideally occurs between 7 and 9 PM. Its main purpose is meal is to tide you over for the next 12+ hours. If you do not have a crippling cable TV or internet addiction that keeps you at home, this can be especially important. Once again, what you actually eat is immaterial, as long as the portion is sensible. Many express a preference for carbohydrates, as they provide a lasting source of energy for whatever activities the night brings. Others consider this meal totally optional, preferring a more sizable two candy bar/two churros/two whatever snack to the smaller portion described previously.

AN EXTREMELY BRIEF NOTE ON GOING OUT: If you do choose to go out, try not to eat until at least 4 AM. As always, the most important thing here is to remain in a state of constant activity. If you can, try not to stay at any particular location more than two hours. Taking cars or other non-stairs centric forms of transportation is the most acceptable during this time, but do not to overindulge, as you can quickly become dependent on this luxury.

RESULTS
Marvel as your previously fashionably fitting clothes expand around you, even as your body core seems to recede into itself and you find your once familiar limbs replaced with wiry, translucent versions of themselves. To compensate, add layers of clothing until movement begins to become restricted. Noticeable results should appear within 3 weeks. Repeat these steps everyday until completely satisfied with your life.