Sunday, May 10, 2009

MOVIE REVIEWS

Before the 2nd wave of summer movie releases hits, I thought I'd give you folks a few brief movie reviews. They are mostly pictures

WOLVERINE
This movie made me feel pretty much like that. Such pain. Such a piece of crap. It's nice they chose to include all these fan favorite mutants that got left out of the other X-men films, but why does everyone have "Matrix" type powers? These characters are supposed to be mutants, each with a unique, strategic ability. That should preclude somewhere around %99 of them doing the flippy flippy bang bang stuff that was cool like 10 years ago. That particular brand of stylized violence is not only untrue to the spirit of the comic, it's just a lazy way to make an action film. And way to try to turn one of the most famous anti-heroes in comics into the story's main moralizing force. What a poor poor decision in the name of kid friendliness. Ol' Hugh is great at playing a nice guy, but put in context, it smells wrong and serves to make the title character a lame duck through much of the film. Most of my other complaints revolve around key plot points, so for brevity and decency's sake, I'm going to remain silent. Let me just say this though: Liev Schreiber runs like a gazelle. Alot. At the drop of a hat. Every chance he gets. At times, it almost majestic. HOWEVER

STAR TREK
That's the feeling the new Star Trek movie gave me: warm, glowing, and covered head to toe in highly stylized poly-cotton blend. Ultra satisfying, with truly amazing action sequences, the film managed to stay true to the characters I grew up with, while making them available to the viewer in an entirely new way. That being said, from the first 5 minutes, you can tell it's not your daddy's Star Trek, but hell, it's not your creepy crumb-faced neighbor's either. Trust me, that's a good thing. The film probably didn't need to be 2 hours long, but part of me is glad it was. J. J. Abrams can restart my franchise anytime - vaguely sexual undertone intended

Happy Mother's Day! One. Week. Of. School. Left.

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